Although neither of us had experience with sheep, I had plenty of passion and energy and was excited about the project.  I had a pasture for the warm seasons and he had a barn for winter. We started with two beautiful all white females who we named Carmen and Cora. When they were old enough for breeding we bought two rams, selected carefully for their rich, brown fleece so we could introduce color into the next generation.

Everything was going as planned and by the end of last fall we had two pregnant ewes - lambs on the way for spring. As the ewe’s approached their time I was eager to dust off my old midwifery experience for the pending births. I researched on the internet and watched lamb births on YouTube - but mostly I counted on my friend’s horse breeding experience to get us through lambing season.  Above all, I was confident that nature would take its course, after all, livestock generally fare well without human intervention.

In this case, I was wrong. To make a long story short, our sheep didn’t fare well. After some unusual complications both sheep as well as their lambs died. It was very sad. I was attached to those girls yet at the same time was painfully reminded of a life lesson: acceptance of the circle of life on a farm is necessary if you’re going to be a farmer.

As I’ve been processing and integrating what’s still difficult for me from this experience I am reminded of another powerful life lesson: The need to find balance between trusting and truly taking responsibility. While I’m not blaming myself or my friend for what happened - the circumstances forced me to ask myself, “what might have I done differently if this were to happen
again?”

After some honest, self reflection, I could see how I had erred on the side of trust - I banked on things working out too easily and I deferred some responsibility. In truth, I didn’t step up enough and educate myself about the care and breeding of sheep. I relied on my friend - rather than go through the hoops necessary to be in full integrity with myself and learn what I needed to know in order to care for the lives in my hands.

This reminds me of how a similar pattern can thrive in many small business owners. Yes, the stakes may not be as high as the loss of life, but it often can mean the death of a dream - the dream of having your business (and, even, your livelihood!) What ever business essentials you resist learning - or what ever responsibility you defer taking - you are jeopardizing the success of your business. Yes, it was easier to stay focused on the aspects of having sheep that I enjoyed, just like it’s easier for you to make candles, or fix computers rather than learn how to interpret financial data.

Lesson learned for me at least. As I continue to sort through the aftermath of this sad but important life lesson I’m still unsure about my future as a sheep owner - I’m not quite ready to make that decision but I do know that whatever I do, I will do it fully and learn what I have to know to be successful. Will you?

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

If this is you, you probably burn a lot of precious energy worried about how much you don’t know, or, feel like an imposter about to be discovered. Or, you get yourself too busy and justify the denial you’re in about not covering the basics. Basically, you hobble along, invest your assets, and prey that it all will work out - somehow.

There is a solution to this new business killer and you don’t have to register for the next MBA session to find it. You start by getting honest with yourself and admit what you don’t know, where your skill sets lack and where you’re not giving your business a fair shake. There is a ton of relief to be had by simply acknowledging and accepting the truth - truth creates reality and reality leads to empowerment.

From the place of empowerment - make a plan to improve one business skill set per quarter. If you avoid doing budgets because finances elude you, take on budgets. If you’d rather file papers than sell, take on sales. Being successful in business requires some real skills and if you don’t naturally have them you need to learn them. Ask for help, buy a book - take on the challenge and you will begin to breathe easier and see the results in your business. What have you got to lose? Only your dream.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

As I think about the constants in my life that seem to endure, regardless of what’s going on around me it quickly becomes obvious the factors that contribute to my overall satisfaction and success. Naturally, as I project myself into the next year, and what I want to experience and accomplish - it becomes clear that all I need to do is do more of what works and let go of what doesn’t.

So, forget resolutions, they don’t work anyway. Yes, I need to exercise more, but if I am feeling good about myself and I’m happy with my life, regardless of the circumstantial stress I may be feeling I naturally take better care of myself. Duh.

As this new year begins here’s what clearly works for me, and what I’m going to focus more on:

Remembering Gratitude - No matter how off balance I may be, returning to the simple practice of counting my blessing - my health, my business, my husband and children,  always makes me feel better.

Connecting with Others - I live way out in the boonies and can get very isolated. Creating more opportunities to engage with people - family or friends always inspires and energizes me.

Prioritizing Play - Honestly, sometimes I can’t even remember what play is. Let alone do it. For me play is anything that gets me away from the computer and makes me laugh.

Giving Back -  More than just a nice, socially correct concept, I find this to be the most important aspect of what creates long term satisfaction in my life. Even when I am feeling tight about money or lack of time, giving ALWAYS reinforces a great sense of purpose and fulfillment. I’ve made a commitment to regularly give both.

What is it for you? What could you do more of? What are the factors in your life that create a foundation of satisfaction - regardless of your external circumstances? It’s simple really - give it some thought and have a great year.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about hope. It started the night our new President was elected. I, for the first time in a long time was filled with an overwhelming sense of hope. The deep thread of worry and cynicism I had been holding about how complex and unchangeable our countries problems were was suddenly replaced with the promise of something new, something hopeful.

Now, I realize it’s going to take a lot of hard work to really change the things that are broken, but regardless of what you or I believe politically, if you agree with Obama’s worldview or not, you have to admit that something profound happened. And that something is worth holding onto and nurturing.

I always thought a funny paradox existed within the concept of hope and frankly, I’ve been a bit cynical about it. People seem to strongly believe in either faith or action -they subscribe to the “law of attraction” or believe in bestsellers such as “The Secret”, or they would argue that hope is not the strategy - it’s only what you “do” that’s important.  I suppose as a coach, it makes sense I would fall into the latter camp - my work is about helping people take action to make their lives better.

I invite you to try on this version instead - hope and faith ARE the positive result of taking action. You have to develop and live both sides of the equation - hope and action. Hope comes from action and action creates hope. My formerly politically disillusioned 28 year old son said it best the morning after the election when I asked him if he was feeling hopeful for change. He said, “Mom, sure I feel hope, but now we all have to get involved if we want things to change”.

How do you embrace the idea of hope in your life and business? What do you make hope mean for you and how can you more fully develop the positive beliefs and actions that will restore your hopefulness?

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

As a small business owner you rely on a certain set of conditions to remain stable. You learn to count on what’s worked in the past as you make decisions moving forward. And, typically, you don’t have a lot of reserve on hand to weather the dark days of any storm.
When all these factors go up for grabs in a faltering or depressed economy it can reek havoc on the well being of your business, which is directly connected to the well being of your life.

So, what’s the savvy small business owner to do to sure up the boat and ride the wave through these choppy waters? Especially given the reality that some businesses WILL do better than others. As much as I favor optimism, some businesses will hurt, BUT - regardless of a worse case scenario, there are things you can do to increase the odds of making it and that will empower you to take an active role in determining your own outcome.

Here are 5 important perspectives and actions that work for me as I face the uncertainly of what’s to come:

1. Get perspective and knowledge. Find out where you stand with your own personal finances. Make an appointment with a trusted financial advisor and get the low down from someone who an expert in the field. I know when I rely on the news for all my information, I don’t know what or who to believe. Get reassurance that you are positioned as well as you can be, or if you’re not fix it! And remember, take the long view. As a country we have weathered many an economic down turn and eventually things do come back into balance.

2. Reevaluate everything. Take this opportunity to look at your business with a fine tooth comb. Could you cut expenses? Are your operations as productive as they can be? Nothing should be a sacred cow. Be willing to make tough choices - trade stress for peace - even if they’re not your preference -for now.

3. Get creative. As Kelly Spors, journalist for the Wall Street Journal suggests, “This could be an opportunity to make inroads on competitors’ turf (think Dunkin’ Donuts taking on Starbucks in the coffee market). Big companies often reel in their marketing budgets in bad economic times, leaving room for small companies to make a bigger splash. It can also be a good time to introduce new products into the market that address today’s economic realities.” What could you change about your business that might make an economic downturn turn into good news for you?

4. Be nimble. Adapt rather than stay stuck in old ways of thinking or doing business. This is where it’s to your advantage to be a small business in a bad economy. You have more control and can make changes.

5. Use the tools you already have. Whether it is yoga, mindfulness, or bubble baths, now’s the time to rev up your spiritual or personal wellness practice and really connect with the big picture. Stay centered and focused on what really matters to you. In the end, I know whatever circumstances may befall me, if I have a strong sense of self intact, my health, and people around me I love - I know I can survive anything.

To summarize, in order to weather any storm in life you have to feel empowered. Empowerment comes from knowledge, inspiration and action - and regardless of your external circumstances, empowerment is something YOU can go after. In reality, you may or may not get the outcome you desire, but at least you know you gave it your best.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Take Jack for example, a solo consultant who feels he’s jogging in place on one leg trying to stay a step ahead of his customers. He loves what he does and is good at it, but resists the nuts and bolts of running his business and procrastinates like crazy. In particular, he’s always stressing about his finances and worried there’s never enough in his checking account.

“Jack”, I asked, “who handles the finances for your operation?” He told me that his wife thankfully took over his books about a year ago. He was happy to be relieved of the task but had a sinking feeling that he was in a real mess.

As I coached Jack, I offer him a powerful distinction between delegating and abdicating. Delegating is when you designate another to perform a task for you. Abdicating, on the other hand, is when you relinquish or renounce your power. Jack immediately slapped his hand to his forehead and got it. In his desperation to relieve himself of a task he dreaded, he had abdicated his finances to his wife.

When you’re a business owner you have to be creative, resourceful and savvy when managing all the aspects of a business. No one can do it all them self. Delegating is a smart tool to use, but you have to make sure you are not abdicating your responsibility to supervise and stay aware of what’s important.

Jack took this advice to heart and took back control of his finances. He discovered he was doing better than he feared and felt empowered to implement a system that enabled him to keep his books himself under the supervision of a monthly bookkeeper.

What’s more, Jack no longer feels overwhelmed by running his business like a business. He’s excited about it! It’s amazing how one little idea can cause a shift in your perspective and change everything.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Last week I was facilitating my monthly entrepreneur group. This is an impressive group of bright, inspired business folk who truly are committed to making their business a success. They apply what they learn, they continuously work on honing their skills, and they are generous and supportive with each other as they collectively move through the typical challenges all growing business owners face. They’re pretty much doing things right. What struck me however, in this particular session, was regardless of how committed and willing each owner is to learn and grow, each owner seems to have their own personal obstacle to success. An obstacle that could ultimately be their undoing!

For example, one participant is dreadfully afraid of speaking and teaching. Another resists picking up the phone to make follow up calls. A third can’t seem to articulate their business model when asked what they do. What struck me and suddenly became painfully obvious is all of these obstacles have one thing in common - something essential to business success: they ALL block the ability to generate sales which as you well know IS the life blood of any business.

In the many years I’ve been coaching small business owners I’ve come to see that everyone has an obstacle. In some areas of life you can ignore your obstacle and not feel the consequences. In business, you can’t. If not dealt with, your obstacle will become your undoing. The good news is your obstacle is also your growth edge; and growth is the key to making you succeed.

What is your obstacle? Acknowledging your obstacle is the first step in overcoming it - but you can’t stop there, you have to do something about it; and here’s the secret: You have to make getting over the obstacle more compelling than staying comfortable. In other words, instead of turning a blind eye to the problem, you have to find a way to overcome it.

Start by looking inside yourself. You probably have an experience of overcoming an obstacle successfully. Draw on that. Then look outside yourself; there are many, many stories of ordinary people overcoming obstacles every day. You can do it too. Don’t let your dream of a successful business fall out of your reach because you’re not willing to do the one thing you resist most.

Finally, if you can’t overcome your obstacle on your own, get help. It’s worth it, you’re worth it! If you don’t you will be letting your fear determine your future. Ultimately, the truth is, whether your business is a success or not, wouldn’t it be great to know you did everything in your power to succeed?

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Emily is a consultant who works in the education system, but she’s also single and very much wants to be in a long term relationship. When immersed in her work with others, all she seems to notice is how happy and successfully married her coworkers are. Then she feels jealous, and begins to question her life, as if she’s “missed the boat”.

When she was describing her experience to me and musing about how painfully distracting it was, she asked me, “What do you think the universe is trying to tell me?”

I then proceeded to take a very deep breath and respond. I said, ” the universe…well, not exactly. I think it’s you life.” Then I told her while it might make it easier to blame her confused feelings on a booming message from the universe - I told her I thought it was her life speaking to her.

I firmly believe every day, your life does speak to you, sometimes in quiet ways, and sometimes like a 2 X 4 on the head. In Emily’s case, I think some older part of her wants permission to abandon her audacious dream of an international career and focus instead on finding the relationship that her childhood, and culture taught her would be her ultimate fulfillment. Poised on the brink of success - understandably Emily is scared.

Learning to listen to your life offers you the gift of valuable feedback from a very reliable source: YOU! The art form of life is to discern what the information means and what to do with it. The opportunity for Emily is to examine her fears, her old beliefs and what’s getting in her way - not to get caught up believing one choice over the other, marriage over career, or career over marriage is the answer.

Ultimately, Emily has to find her own answers about what her life is telling her - as do we all. I believe being courageous enough to ask the question creates the foundation we need in our lives to be successful on all levels. So, what is your life telling you?

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

It’s understandably complex; the holiday season taps into all of our personal and collective beliefs and values, from our deepest feelings about creation to how our families function to how we live in community. Throw a substantial dose of shameless consumerism into the mix and it’s no wonder people both love and dread December.

For better or worse, it’s the way it is - but there’s an option. You can consciously change your relationship to this time of year. Rather than just go for the ride year after year, (and hope you don’t put on too many extra pounds) you can make a declaration to yourself to make this a different year.

Here are 5 practices to seriously consider. If you do, I guarantee, you will feel surprisingly different by the end of the year.

1. Get clear about what’s most important to you. Redefine the spirit of the season for yourself. What is this holiday really about, is it spiritual? Family? Is it even about giving? There are no right answers, except yours.

2. Are your basic needs met before giving to others? Are you in integrity with your finances? Often we equate love and generosity with the value of a gift. Gift giving can take many forms. Make sure you are in alignment with your true values first, and then decide what to give.

3. When you find yourself imagining stressful scenarios about family interactions or social situations ask yourself, “is this the only possibility?” Remind yourself that worrying about the future or regretting the past isn’t going to change what has or is going to happen. Search for what else could be true, rather than what you fear.

4. Create your own traditions. Once you’re clear about what makes this season meaningful for you, have fun and play with it. Invite your loved ones to participate in something new. Take a risk, defy convention.

5. Remember, your time and energy is precious. Are your boundaries intact? Most of the stress around the holidays surrounds an increase time demands and frankly, increased food intake. Be clear about what works for you and what doesn’t. Making and sticking to healthy choices isn’t deprivation, it’s self love. Enjoy yourself as well as honoring yourself at the deepest level.

For me the holidays are about remembering the light, celebrating goodness and deeply feeling gratitude for life itself. I’m looking forward to December…are you?

I wish you ALL, all the goodness, light and love possible now and through this holiday season.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

It seems to be a universal, ever-present, nagging concern - how do I present myself in an authentic, effective manner that makes me feel comfortable and accomplish my sales goals all at the same time?

Here’s how to create an authentic and powerful transformation. Move from your worried perception of yourself as a sales persuader targeting a victim with money, to a professional consultant whose goal is to partner with a customer to help fulfill their wants, needs and desires. Sounds better already, doesn’t it?

These are my 5 key elements of a professional, comfortable, consultative relationship:

Honesty and Candor

Communicate clearly what your product or service can and cannot provide, even in the face of losing the customer’s business.

Peer-Level Perception

Present yourself as a colleague; a peer who is jointly evaluating with the buyer, whether a business relationship will be mutually beneficial.

Patience to Allow a Relationship to Develop

Sometimes you can hit it off immediately with someone; other times it can take months for the relationship to develop. It’s ok to let time take its course.

Respect

Although you may not be friends, respect what the buyer’s values and intent are, and the buyer will respect your approach to business and your professionalism.

Trust

Hold the perspective that you will sell to the “right” buyer. Trusting that true needs will be served, if the buyer is a good fit it will keep you relaxed and enjoying the process.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!